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Saturday, May 3rd, 2008
Time:
6:28 pm.
What we have here is the top 106 books most often marked as "unread" by LibraryThing’s users. As in, they sit on the shelf to make you look smart or well-rounded. Bold the ones you've read, underline the ones you read for school, italicize the ones you started but didn't finish.
Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell Anna Karenina Crime and Punishment Catch-22 One Hundred Years of Solitude Wuthering Heights The Silmarillion Life of Pi : a novel The Name of the Rose Don Quixote Moby Dick Ulysses Madame Bovary The Odyssey Pride and Prejudice Jane Eyre The Tale of Two Cities The Brothers Karamazov Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies War and Peace Vanity Fair The Time Traveler’s Wife The Iliad Emma The Blind Assassin The Kite Runner Mrs. Dalloway Great Expectations American Gods A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius Atlas Shrugged Reading Lolita in Tehran : a memoir in books Memoirs of a Geisha Middlesex Quicksilver Wicked : the life and times of the wicked witch of the West The Canterbury Tales The Historian : a novel A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man Love in the Time of Cholera Brave New World The Fountainhead Foucault’s Pendulum Middlemarch Frankenstein The Count of Monte Cristo Dracula A Clockwork Orange Anansi Boys The Once and Future King The Grapes of Wrath The Poisonwood Bible : a novel 1984 Angels & Demons The Inferno The Satanic Verses Sense and Sensibility The Picture of Dorian Gray Mansfield Park One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest To the Lighthouse Tess of the D’Urbervilles Oliver Twist Gulliver’s Travels Les Misérables The Corrections The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time Dune The Prince The Sound and the Fury Angela’s Ashes : a memoir The God of Small Things A People’s History of the United States : 1492-present Cryptonomicon Neverwhere A Confederacy of Dunces A Short History of Nearly Everything Dubliners The Unbearable Lightness of Being Beloved Slaughterhouse-five The Scarlet Letter Eats, Shoots & Leaves The Mists of Avalon Oryx and Crake : a novel Collapse : how societies choose to fail or succeed Cloud Atlas The Confusion Lolita Persuasion Northanger Abbey The Catcher in the Rye On the Road The Hunchback of Notre Dame Freakonomics : a rogue economist explores the hidden side of everything Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance : an inquiry into values The Aeneid Watership Down Gravity’s Rainbow (a couple of times, actually, for some masochistic reason) The Hobbit In Cold Blood : a true account of a multiple murder and its consequences White Teeth Treasure Island David Copperfield The Three Musketeers
why in the hell don't people read these books? they're really amazing. hell, some of the books on here are on my list of favorites.
it's raining and the pup is very snuggly though. I only had to work three hours this morning, which I wasn't expecting, and I'm slowly managing to rehydrate myself. I'm supposed to go to the store, but I really don't want to wander around in all this rain.
so, the deal on Lola is, there are a couple of people in there this week doing trial days, but IF they don't work out, I get to go in next week to do the same thing.
I rarely think bad things about people. or, if I do, it's not really bad so much as just an observation such as, "wow, that woman has weird hair." now I find myself in the odd position of sitting here on my couch desperately hoping that the people in there this week drop, burn, and otherwise maim desserts beyond any recognizable shape so that I can get in there.
please send bad thoughts their ways. I need this job. need as in...if this doesn't work out and I can't find some sort of baking teaching job, it'll be borders or a video store for me. something that pays, anyway, much as I want to just run to the animal shelter and volunteer all my hours away right now.
something about being an adult and making stupid choices and then having to live with them.
maybe I'll just eat some lunch and go paint the den. nothing like a little physical labor to cheer you up. and it would make Owen happy, I'll wager.
have you ever just had something that you couldn't talk about with your significant other? I mean....something that you felt like it was important, but they just make it impossible to discuss?
Owen is mean to the dog. not like...hitting him or anything, but he's just got such a bad temper where the dog is concerned. he's always been a little too rough with him, but whenever I'd try to remind him that D'Artagnan is...you know, a little dog, and nine years old, he'd seem to acknowledge it for a day or so, and then back to tossing him around and rough-housing. he grew up with a labrador, so he's used to a dog he can wrestle with, and D'Artagnan really isn't that kind of dog.
and now that he's hurt and supposed to be resting, everytime he so much as stands up Owen is all over him, using his "mean" voice and yelling at him. the dog responds just as well when I tell him to sit down, and I just say it in a normal voice. he's even rough when he's giving him medicine, to the point that D'Artagnan will just sit nice and still when I give it to him, and when Owen tries he squirms and just tries to get away.
when I try to tell him to be gentle with him though, Owen just starts yelling about how he's "always wrong" about the dog. and I don't know what he means. it's gotten to the point that every time he talks to the dog, D'Artagnan just crawls under the bed. today he was trying to go down the stairs, and Owen screamed at him really loudly, and he had an accident.
which is fun, since, you know, the vet told us that would probably happen while he was on the steroids, and he was trying to go down the stairs, towards the door.
I don't know. it feels ridiculous to fight about the dog, but I don't know how to convince him that he just needs to be a little gentler with the dog, and not scream at him so much. he's already confused as to why we won't play with him anymore, and why he's not allowed up on the bed.
just woke up from a dream in which people just kept making jokes about fish that were somehow vaginal in reference.
ex: My Poppa used to ask all us girls what fish we liked best, and what would we say? Vlotska!
I don't know. there was also a bit in which someone's husband was leaving because he had to finish writing a book, and they were having really loud sex in the next room.
then Jenni and I got arrested for traffic violations, and at the driver's ed class we had to take, they went around the room and everyone had to tell a fish joke. for some reason, Jenni, we both had very heavy eastern european accents. and most of the jokes were about vaginas.
talked to my mom today for a long time. we usually wind up chatting forever, because she's the only person I ever really get particularly chatty with in general. we've really patched up our relationship since all the drama a couple of years ago, and I think now she knows me better than most people.
which really isn't what I had planned to say, it just still kind of surprises me how well we get along now. something about she finally recognized that I'm not a little girl anymore, and I finally quit acting like one.
but....today she just offered something that's making me think too much. the basic situation is this. by the time I'm done here, after paying for rent and food and gas and just all the other stuff, I'm going to have about a thousand dollars left in my bank account. in the grand scheme of things, that's really not a lot.
and to tell you the truth, it's probably not enough to get me moved from ohio back to minnesota and certainly not enough to get me another apartment. not with security deposits and pet deposits and all that. if I count on getting all of my security deposit from here back I'll be close to two thousand, but I dont' think that I should, considering the damage the dog has already done to the new door and to some of the carpet right in front of it.
so, today my mom idly suggested that maybe I should just stay at home for a while. she has a couple of clients who own restaurants, and she knows for a fact that at least one of them is hiring in the pastry department. her thinking seems to be that if I stay at home just for a year, I won't have to worry about rent, or the dog destorying things, or....really, money period. I'd be able to put probably 90% of every paycheck in the bank and not touch it for a year. even if I'm working a job that doesn't pay all that well, I'd still have a pretty good chunk saved up by the time I hit a year.
there were reasons I really wanted to get back to minneapolis. some of them were pretty good reasons. some of them are even bordering on being good enough that this is requiring a lot of thought, because I don't know what I want to do anymore. scrounging desperately for money my first few months in minneapolis would be manageable, but it would probably be unpleasant. if I stay at home for a year and just save like a crazy person, I could probably be in a good place for getting a new car some time next year. not new new....but new to me, in any event, and probably slightly less old. my car's not on it's last legs yet, but I know it's coming. probably sooner rather than later.
so, I don't know. I honestly have no idea. the smart thing to do would be to tell my mom to give my resume to her client who's hiring and tell her I'm coming home. I could still keep in touch with my friends in minnesota, and it's entirely possible that at the end of a year, when I'm in a better place financially, I could go back. anyone who's really my friend anyway should be willing to support a decision like that, right?
I don't know. I don't know what the right decision is. there are people who will be unhappy about the smart decision, but the decision I want to make would probably have me miserable for months. I'm past the point of saying I wish someone would just make it for me....but I wish it were easier.
the biggest thing in support of working at home, however, is that I would at least get to be there for holidays. if I had been working normally at the restaurant during christmas, I would have wound up working christmas eve and probably christmas morning. there would have been almost no way to be home for christmas.
that's just how I've felt all day. no idea why. probably lack of sleep. speaking of which, I have to head to bed in about an hour.
I'm thinking about deleting my journal. a little old lady down the street tried to feed my dog cookies and told me we ("we" being me and the dog) reminded her of her granddaughter.
I finally up and cleaned my apartment because it occured to me all of a sudden that I was sick of laying in bed. you know, seeing as how I've been doing it for a ridiculous amount of time. the good news is, I get to go to work on sunday. the bad news is, I have to go in to work on sunday at five AM, which means I have to wake up at 3:15. this is beyond ridiculously early. this is....ludicrously early. torturously early. mind-blowingly early. et. al.
anyway, since the apartment was all clean and stuff, I took some pictures. not a lot, because there's not a lot to see. and I left the bathroom out, because it's a) too tiny to really warrant a picture, and b) too far away from all the cords and stuff.
so then.
kitchen / living room / ...entertainment area? the bathroom is what's through that door. and the dog toys? they will never all be cleaned up. I have resigned myself to this fact.
bed. and messy bedside table thing.
door. I hate my door. hate isn't even strong enough. I loathe this door with the fire of one thousand suns. if you turn the light out, you can still see light around every single side of it, and there's easily two inches of open space under the bottom. this is why it's draped in a black sheet. to keep the cold air out. because my door is right smack dab in front of the door to the outside. there's also a towel shoved into those wonderful two inches of space. stupid door.
okay, so, most pointless entry ever. I have nothing else to do. the apartment is clean, the dishes are done, the dog has been walked, and the laundry center is closed for the night. on the upside, I took a shower, cleaned, did dishes, and took the dog for a walk without getting nauseous at all. this is squealy dancing worthy news, I feel.
that's pretty much all. I feel better after accomplishing that stuff.
2. went to the ER again sunday and was told to stay home for a week. told to just stay in bed for a few days of that week, actually. this week is going to drive me mad.
3. I have two funny stories from all my trips to the ER.
3a. one doctor, instead of telling me I needed more rest, told me I needed more breast.
3b. I wound up sharing a room with a girl who tried to slit one of her wrists because her mother wouldn't make her a chocolate milkshake. this was "infuriating". her mother, the chooclate milkshake instigator, kept referring to me as white trash and I don't know why.
3b.2. why couldn't you make your own damn milkshake?
seriously?????
I don't know. I've been watching too many movies and the twilight zone and knitting a whole hell of a lot. and I feel like a jerk for complaining about being forbidden to go back to a job that I hate. seems hypocritical or something.
I just watched Battle Royale. and if you happen to be interested in seeing a bunch of kids doing various violent things that end in death to other kids, it might be right up your alley.
also, kind of a Clockwork Orange-esque use of classical music.
weird. eerie.
both my neighbors are having parties. I'm tired, but I'm pretty sure not even I can sleep through that.
well, I personally never would have guessed how much people whose origins are heavily steeped in mexico enjoy a good polka. I mean....when I think of mexico and instruments that remind me of it, the accordian really isn't what pops into my head.
but...yeah. polkas.
and, more specifically, the chicken dance.
not that I walked back in from my lunch break to find sixteen mexicans in a row doing the chicken dance.
1. Where is your cell phone? well that was direct. it's on my dresser. any of my other personal belongings you'd like to keep track of? my i-Pod is over there too.
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend? wait, what about them? does that "where is" trickle down to cover all of the following questions? are you inquiring as to my significant other's location, or just their existence?
3. Your hair? it both exists and has a location. both happen to be on top of my head.
4. Your grandma? which one? I guess they're both in the same general location (Kansas City), but as to specifics, I'm sure they're quite different.
5. Your father? somewhere around New York City, I think.
6. Your favorite item? this is getting confusing. are you asking what my favorite item is? where it is? what happened to it? last time it saw the light of day? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
7. Your dream last night? I guess it's general location would be somewhere inside my head.
8. Your favorite drink? white russians, at the moment. I dont' know. it changes.
9. Your dream car? one that works consistently?
10. The room you are in? THERE'S ONLY ONE.
11. Your ex? INSANE. the whole damn lot of them. okay, not all of them. there's maybe....one. vaguely sane one who isn't utterly and completely whacked. but other than that. YOU'RE ALL NUTS.
12. Your fear? are you asking me where my fear is?
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? a pastry chef.
14. Who did you hang out with last night? the only person I ever hang out with, these days. my dog. unless the hot doctor or the pharmacist who can't count at Target count.
15. What you're not? um....able to drive? I did just take a shit ton of vicodin.
16. Muffin? WHAT?!?!?
17. One of your wish list items? apartment in minneapolis
18. The last thing you did? um...answered number seventeen?
19. What are you wearing? Kansas City Jayhawks t-shirt. GO JAYS
20. Your favorite book? Till We Have Faces. my copy got stolen though. I need a new one.
21. The last thing you ate? hot chocolate and grapes.
22. Your life? lonely.
23. Your mood? woozy.
24. Your friends? ....what about my friends? are you threatening my friends?
25. What are you thinking about right now? what you have against my friends.
26. Your car? doors freeze shut.
27. What are you doing at the moment? TYPING
28. Last summer (2006)? school
29. Your relationship status? long-distance
30. What is on your TV? I don't have one at the moment.
31. When is the last time you laughed? a little while ago.
32. Reason you last cried? wonked my head on something and made it bleeeeeeeeeeeeeed.
the thing where it says symptoms could be permanent is very disheartening.
that's what's wrong with my brains, by the way. more vicodin for me, along with a shit ton of ibuprofin and something for nausea. although....I don't know, the bottle says I was supposed to get thirty of the nausea things, and I have seven. that seems like a pretty big discrepancy to me. someone lose count?
- transcen-dental (a dentist) - some gourmet food shop that offers free samples of "find cheese". perhaps it's hidden. - rent a center that can't spell....I really really don't want to have a super bowel party, thanks. - some church that set up a big mirror to catch the sun and blind drivers as they top a hill with a sign under it that announces "you have seen the light of the lord!" - a strip club that apparently set up in an old church. the words from the sign from the church are kind of imprinted on the bricks (like, the sun faded the bricks around but not behind?), so occasionally you can catch it so it reads "GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS! of Jesus Christ and Latter-Day Saints". - BOULEVARD ROAD. it gets me every time. - "happy ending massage and theraputic touch". just from looking at this place....I don't think they know what a "happy ending massage" is. that, or....I don't know, maybe they're just trying to throw off the cops. - I don't know about anyone else, but seeing a convoy of eight unmarked white semi-trucks being escorted by twelve cop cars through the backwoods of rural new york makes me kind of nervous. - I went to the office yesterday to report my neighbor for noise violations. she has been screaming a lot. not like...happy screaming. just screaming obscenities and arguing with people whenever the fancy takes her. she's been aggravating my headaches and stuff. so, I guess they put a notice in her mailbox that she's been shouting too much, and her reaction was to call her mother and SCREAM that she hated everyone here, and that she didn't want to be here, and what the hell did we know, she was SO QUIET. then she kept screaming, "I will not keep my voice down! I WILL NOT KEEP MY VOICE DOWN!" hmm...maybe that's the damn problem? I don't know. I hate her. she reports me for violations if my dog barks more than twice in succession and says he's been barking "forever". she actually called and turned me in one day when he wasn't here, which I thought was kind of funny. I wonder what else in my apartment was barking. -Phil Collins. Phil Collins, why am I listening to Phil Collins? oh yeah. I blame American Psycho. on this note, though....why am I listening to anything at all? maybe my head can throb along.
I got sent home from work again. I'm supposed to go back to the ER, but I'm kind of not sure I can drive right now. so...I'm just going to rest for a while. concussions aren't supposed to last this long, I don't think.
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being_isis's journal
grouchy.
no more nauseous for me!.
OW, MY HEAD.